Saturday, December 15, 2012

Crossdreaming - Add this word to your dictionary!

Many times, when I chat online with people who describe themselves as "crossdressers", they tell me that they actually don't crossdress much. What they are really attracted to is the idea of "becoming a woman". They have tried crossdressing as part of actualizing this dream, but crossdressing is not their ultimate propelling force. Here, crossdressing is the expression of a deeper and subtler part of their inner self. But still they call themselves as crossdressers because they don't have a more suitable word to describe themselves. This is logically justified because they do crossdress sometimes.

There is a psychological trap here. If you are a guy who likes to visualize yourself as a woman but not much crazy about physical crossdressing, then if you label yourself as a crossdresser, that prevents you from going deeper into yourself and understanding your real inner nature. So I am, advocating the use of the words - "Crossdreaming"  and "Crossdreamer" !!!

Crossdreamer is a man who likes to imagine himself as a woman. Or a man who dreams of having a female body or female attributes (Please note that I am writing here only about male to female crossdreamers. There are plenty of female to male crossdreamers, but my experience restricts me from writing about it.).

Considering my experience, I never had a big urge to crossdress. I loved the idea of being a beautiful, humble, caring woman. I was the heroine of my own dreams. In some of my fantasies, I was a beautiful princess who is admired and loved by everyone. Sometimes, an evil witch comes and abuducts me and makes me her maid, with the intention of sactificing me at the end. Sometimes, the witch shows kindness to me seeing my feminine helplessness. But sometimes, the witch stays cruel and a prince charming comes and rescueues me!

Oops, I'm chattering too much into my fantasies (Silly girl, I am!). The point I wanted to make is that even though I had these fantasies, I was not attracted to wear female dress. I have done it a few times, just to appreciate myself as a woman in the mirror. But the source of joyful feeling did not originate from wearing a female dress, but it came from my mental image of myself as a woman. Because of this, I did not want to use the label "crossdresser" for myself, but liked to describe myself as a "male with a feminine side", until I read about the term "Crossdreamers". So, now I can say that I was a "Crossdreamer" !

There are genuine crossdreamers out there in the online world who wishes to share their fantasies and express themselves. A good reference would be the website Also, there is a genuine forum of crossdreamers -

Before concluding this post, something needs to be mentioned about a major psychology work in this area. An American psychologist Ray Blanchard introduced the term "Autogynephilia". He defined Autogynephilia as a condition in which a man is turned on by the thought of being a woman. Further information and criticisms of this theory is available out there in the internet.

Concluding, my attempt was just to invite the attention of readers to the concept of crossdreaming. And to suggest that some of you who consider yourselves as crossdressers may be just crossdreamers. I accept that there are genuine crossdressers who are passionate about wearing female dress. They are correct in describing themselves as crossdressers. But those who don't have a great passion for crossdressing but still have fantasies of being a female, could consider freeing themselves from an inaccurate label :-).

As I mentioned, the purpose of this blog is to share with my readers some of my humble thoughts and reflections from my inner journey. Identifying myself as a crossdreamer was a step in my journey which helped me look deeper into myself. I'll write more in the coming posts.



  1. This blog looks promising, Jaya! I like, agree and identify with what you write.

    Beautiful picture of you in the meadow.

    Deborah xx

  2. Thank you Deborah! I'm happy hearing that from you :-)


  3. You have inspired me to write another entry on my more introspective blog:


    1. I too long to be a girl, I love wearing women's clothing and I would one day love to have sex as a woman. I love to sleep each night as a woman. Alas I don't believe I will ever become a woman but I do dream. I most certainly do. Thanks.